On the Continent people have good food; in England people have good table manners.

----George Mikes, humourist and Hungarian émigré to Britain

You can’t trust people who cook as badly as that.
----Jacques Chirac, President of France 1995-2007

As the two quotes above exemplify, Britain and good food are two things which are not commonly associated. Visitors to Britain often have varying opinions about all sorts of aspects of the country, but most seem to agree that the food is terrible. Why? The answer cannot be that British tastes are different from everybody else’s. The most common complaint is not that British food has a strange, unpleasant taste, but rather that it has very little taste at all. The vegetables, for example, are overcooked. It is all too bland.

Another possible explanation is that most visitors to Britain do not get the opportunity to sample home cooking. They either eat the food cooked in an instruction, such as a university canteen, or in rather cheap restaurant and cafés. These places are definitely not where to find good British food. Typical British cooking involves a lot of roasting (roast beef with roast potatoes and vegetables is supposed to be the English national dish), which does not suit the larger scale production or the quick preparation which is required in such places. For one thing, food should, according to British people, be eaten hot, which is difficult to arrange when feeding large numbers of people.

Eating habits and attitudes
The explanations above can only serve as a partial excuse for the unfortunate reputation of British cuisine. Even in fast food restaurants and every cafés, the quality seems to be lower than it is in equivalent places in other countries. Life and habits in Britain are simply not oriented to food very much. The country has neither a widespread “restaurant culture” nor “cafés society”. In the middle of the day, people just want to eat up quickly (the lunch break is an hour at most). The coffee is often horrible not because British people prefer is that way but because they just don’t care very much. When they go to a café, they go there for relaxation, conversation, and caffeine; the quality of the coffee itself is of comparatively minor importance. Expectations are low.

Even at home, food and drink are given relatively little attention. The coffee is often just as bad as it is in the cafés. British supermarkets sell far more instant coffee than (what the few people who drink it often call) ‘real’ coffee. Instant coffee is less trouble. Meals tend to be eaten quickly and the table cleared. Parties and celebrations are not normally centred around the food.

When the British do pay attention to food, it is most frequently not to appreciate it but to consider its health implications. There are quite large numbers of vegetarians in Britain and an even larger number who are aware of food from the point of view of health. Health food shops are as abundant in the country’s high streets as delicatessens. When in 2005 the TV chef Jamie soon found himself presenting a petition signed by 270,000 parents to Downing Street demanding more money for school dinners. As it had recently also been revealed that France spent three times more per child than Britain on its school meals, the government was quick to oblige. But changing habits is hard work. In 2006, after one school had decided to stop its pupils from going out to the local fast food eateries at lunchtime, a group of parents, enraged by this imposition, started handing their children their favourite hamburgers and frozen pizzas through the school railings!

Ultimately, the explanation for these poor standards, low expectations and lack of general interest in food and drink is historical. Until the second half of the twentieth century, the ruling classes in Britain- and thus the opinion leaders-had been educated at boarding schools (see chapter 14) where they were, deliberately, given rather plain food to eat. They were encouraged to be hard and pure, not soft and sensual. Too much enthusiasm for food was seen as decadent (and, indeed, ‘foreign’). In addition, British people have been mostly urban, with little contact with ‘the land’, for longer than the people of other countries. They are therefore rather ignorant of the origins of what thrives on the dinner table or in their lunch boxes. In 2004, a poll of children aged eight to eleven found that half of them thought that margarine came from cows, a third thought that ham came from chickens and a quarter reckoned bread was made from potatoes or rice. Perhaps this is why the range of plants and animals which British people eat is rather narrow. There are plenty of enthusiastic British meat eaters who feel quite sick at the thought of eating horsemeat. To most people, the idea of going out to pick wild plants for the table is exotic. It is perhaps significant that when the British want to refer to the people of another country insultingly, they often allude to their eating habits. Because of the strange things they do with cabbage, for example, the Germans are ‘krauts’. Because of their outrageous taste for frog’s legs, the French are ‘frogs’.

However, this conservatism is not nearly as extreme as it used to be. In the 1960s, it was reported that the first British package tourists in Spain not only insisted on eating (traditionally British) fish and chips but also on having them, as was traditional, wrapped up in specially imported British newspaper! A lot has changed since that time. Items which 50 years ago were thought exotic and viewed with suspicion, such as peppers, garlic, and olive oil, are now to be found in every shop selling food. The country’s supermarket shelves are full of the ingredients needed for cooking dishes from all over the world (the increasing multicultural mix has helped in this respect). In fact, the package holidaymakers seem to have ‘imported’ some European dishes. For example, as well as various traditional British dishes, an extraordinary number of pubs now offer dishes such as moussaka and lasagna. The latter dish is reported to be the country’s most popular ‘ready meal’, which can perhaps claim to be the modern British national dish because it was invented in Britain by a Bangladeshi chef who adapted chicken tikka to British tastes.

British people are also showing increasing interest in the pure enjoyment aspect of food. There are numerous cookery and food programmes on TV, all of them watched with close enthusiasm. It is possible, then, that the negative reputation of British food will eventually become a historical hangover. Attitudes have changed, but the quality of food in everyday life is still poor because these changes have not had enough time to change habits and expectations. One final example: In 2005, the buffet bar of the Eurostar train had a special offer. If you bought a sandwich, you should buy a soft drink and something sweet at an especially low price. There was a poster in the bar advertising the offer. It showed a Coca-Cola and a chocolate bar, with a slogan written in Dutch, French and English. The Dutch and French versions of the slogan translated into English as ‘A little something extra’. But the English version was ‘Make it a meal’. Only in English could a can of fizzy drink and an industrially produced chocolate bar, when combined with a sandwich, be described as a ‘meal’.

Eating out
Not so long ago, going to a restaurant was a rare event for most British people. Regular eating out was confined to the richest section of society. By now, a far larger number of people do it. But because of this history, there remains an element of snobbery attached to it. Merely being in an expensive restaurant sometimes seems to be more important to people than the food eaten in it. And in such restaurants, and even some less expensive ones, in a country where few public notices appear in any language other than English , you find a unique phenomenon- many of the dishes have non-English names, most commonly French (reflecting the general high regard for French cuisine). The only exception to this rule is the puddings, which is the one course of a meal that the British have always been confident about.

There is another reason for this lack of English nomenclature. Very few restaurants in Britain could be described as British; that is, they do not serve distinctively British food, so the names of the dishes are not in English. History may also help to explain this fact. Because they did it so rarely, people wanted something different when they went out to eat. By now, people have got used to several kinds of ‘ethnic’ cuisine and Britain’s towns and cities are almost totally dominated by restaurants offering them. A survey in 2006 found that fully a quarter of all restaurants in Glasgow were Italian, that in London there were no less than kebab outlets per square mile(2.6km2) and that in Nottingham(population 270,000) you could visit a different Italian restaurant every week for half a year and a different Indian one every week for nine months. Even the smallest towns have at least one Indian restaurant, one Italian, and probably a Chinese one as well. Thai restaurant have become numerous in recent decades. Large towns and cities have restaurants representing cuisine from all over the world.

Apart from pubs, only three types of distinctively British eating places exist. One offers mostly fried food of the ‘English breakfast’ type(see chapter 5) and for this reason it is sometimes known as a ‘greasy spoon’. Traditionally, it is used principally by manual workers, and is therefore also sometimes called a ‘workman’s café’ (pronounced ‘caff’). But these days (when there are fewer manual workers) it is also used by anybody who wants a filling meal and likes the informal atmosphere. Many of them are ‘transport cafés’ at the sides of main roads. Second, there is the fish and chip shop, used mainly for takeaway meals. Again, the fish is fried. Finally, there are establishments in the centre of towns which are commonly referred to as ‘tea rooms’. They are open only during the day and cater for a different kind of clientele with waitress service. They serve scones and other light snacks (and, of course, tea). Fast food outlets are probably more common in Britain than they are in most other countries. Cynics might claim this is because the British have no taste. However, their popularity is probably better explained sociologically. Except for greasy spoons, other types of restaurant still retain echoes of social pretension, so that some people feel uncomfortable in them. A fast food place does not have these associations. And they are cheap!

Alcohol
The British attitude to alcohol in Britain is ambivalent. On the one hand, it is accepted and liked as an integral, deeply-rooted part of the national culture. And the prevalent attitude to getting drunk is that, provided this does not lead to violence, there is no shame attached. On the other hand, the puritan tradition has led to the widespread assumption that drinking is something dangerous which should therefore be restricted, with regard to both who can do it and also where it can be done. Most people, including regular drinkers, consider that it would be wrong to give a child even half glass of beer. Quite frequently, horror stories appear in the media about the shocking amount of alcohol drunk by teenagers. By law, people cannot be served or drink any kind of alcohol in pubs until the age of eighteen. In fact, both teenage drinking and alcohol consumption generally are often regarded these days as major social ‘problems’, even though the British actually consume less alcohol per head of population than many other countries in Europe. Perhaps this is because for many people, drinking is confined to pubs. Most café are not as much a part of home life as they are in some other European countries.

For most of the twentieth century, pubs operated under strict laws which limited their opening hours. These have now been relaxed. Moreover, many more types of shop now sell alcohol than previously. However, this lessening of the negative attitude to alcohol has been balanced by increasing concerns about its impact on health and safety. Government-sponsored guidelines state the maximum amount of alcohol which it is advisable for people to drink in a week without endangering their health. Although millions of people pay little attention to these, general feeling that alcohol can be bad for you has increased.

Nevertheless, alcohol, especially beer, remains an important part of the lives of many people. The occasional trip across the channel solely for the purpose of buying cheaper beer and wine in France or Belgium in such a regular part of many people’s calendar that it has led to a well-known colloquial coinage-the ‘booze cruise’.

At the time of writing, there is continuing debate about licensing laws. When further relaxing of the laws was planned in 2005, it caused a major political row. The medical profession, residents’ groups, and most (but not all) of the police were against the plan. One national newspaper organized a campaign to stop it. Much of the debate revolves around the issue of ‘binge drinking’. There has always been something of a problem of public drunkenness in Britain and the perception these days is that among young people it is an ‘epidemic’. Those who want fewer regulations argue that this would reduce drunkeness, which, they say, is largely the result of having to drink too fast. (And indeed, there is no doubt that the average British drinker finished a drink more quickly than the average drinkers of other European countries. This is a habit born of generations subject to limited drinking time.) They have a vision of introducing to Britain the more civilized drinking habits of mainland Europe.

Pubs
The British pub is unique. This is not just because it is different in character from bars or cafés in other countries. It is also because it is different from any other public place in Britain itself. Without pubs, Britain would be a less sociable country. The pub is the only indoor place where the average person can comfortably meet others, even strangers, and get into prolonged conversation with them. In cafés and fast food places, people are expected to eat, drink, and get out. The atmosphere in other eating places makes some people feel uncomfortable. But pubs are classless. A pub with forty customers in it is nearly always much noisier than a café or restaurant with the same number of people in it.

The local pub plays an important role in almost every neighborhood -- and pubs, it should be noted, are predominantly for the drinking of beer and spirits. Indicative of this role is the fact that it is commonly referred to as ‘the local’ and people who go there are often known as ‘regulars’. The action in all of the country’s most popular soaps (see chapter 16) revolves around a pub.

As with other aspects of British life, pubs have become a bit less distinctive in the last thirty years. They used to serve almost nothing but beer and spirits and only things to eat you could get were ‘bar snacks’ such peanuts and crisps. These days, you can get wine, coffee, and hot food at most of them as well. This has helped to widen their appeal.

Nevertheless, pubs have retained their special character. One of their notable aspects is that there is no waiter service. If you want something, you have to go and ask for it at the bar. This may not seem very welcoming and a strange way of making people feel comfortable and relaxed. But to British people it is precisely this. To be served at a table is discomforting for many people. It makes them feel they have to be on their best behaviour. But because in pubs you have to go and fetch your drinks yourself, it is more informal. You can get up and walk around whenever you want-like being in your own house. This ‘home from home’ aspect of the pub is encouraged by the relationship between customers and those who work there. The latter are expected to know the regulars personally, to know what their usual drink is and to chat with them when they are not serving someone. It is also encouraged by the availability of pub games (most typically darts) and, frequently, a television.

A notable aspect of British pubs is their frequent appeal to the idea of tradition. For example, each has its own name, proclaimed on a sign hanging outside, always with old-fashioned associations. Many are called by the name of some aristocrat (e.g. ‘The Duke of Cambridge’) or after a monarch; others take their names from some traditional occupation (e.g. ‘The Bricklayer’s Arms’); they often have rural associations (e.g. ‘The Sheep Shearers’, ‘The Bull’). To call a pub ‘The Computer Programmers’ or ‘The Ford Focus’ or something like that would be to make a very definite statement! For the same reason, the person who runs a pub is referred to as the ‘landlord’- even though he or she is, in reality, a tenant. Nearly all pubs are owned by commercial companies. The ‘landlord’ is simply employed by the company as its manager. But the word is used because it evokes earlier times when all pubs were privately owned ‘inns’ where travelers could find a bed for the night.